A Mindfulness-Based Approach to Touch

Sensate Focus is a powerful, mindfulness-based sexual intimacy exercise. It is designed to help individuals and couples rebuild trust, deepen their connection, and increase body awareness, especially after a disruptive health event like cancer treatment.

The core principle of Sensate Focus is to remove the pressure and anxiety often associated with sexual performance. It does this through a series of gradual, non-pressured touching exercises. The goal is not orgasm or intercourse, but simply to experience pleasure and connection through touch.

The Process:

• Stage 1: Non-Genital Touch: The exercise begins with partners taking turns touching and caressing each other’s bodies, avoiding genital areas and breasts. The focus is purely on the sensation of giving and receiving touch.
• Stage 2: Genital Touch: As comfort and trust build, genital touch is incorporated, but still without the goal of arousal or orgasm.
• Stage 3: Penetrative Touch: Eventually, if both partners are comfortable, this can progress to include penetrative touch, still maintaining the focus on sensation over performance.

Sensate Focus is an excellent tool for rediscovering pleasure, improving sexual communication, and building a more fulfilling and less anxious sexual relationship.